50 Shades of Greyjoy

I honestly don’t know what’s scarier about this. The fact that I listened to Korn, Tool, Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, White Zombie, and Placebo while writing it? Or the fact that I enjoyed writing it? Take a hint from the title. It’s a parody, albeit a loose one. 

Dedicated to my lovely Nana.

Ongoing chapters.

Chapters 1-2

Chapter 1

I have never fit in. I, Theon of House Greyjoy have always felt as though I have never really had a family. I couldn’t think of a time when i’d last felt truly happy. Not with myself or anybody else. But especially not with myself. My father hated me and it seemed as though my sister, Asha, was in the same frame of mind. 

I shifted slightly in my seat, feeling uncomfortable at the thought of my sister’s scrutiny. Sometimes I disliked it even more than father’s.

I watched as my family ate their share of the feast. There was roasted duck, grilled fish of some sort and, yes, lobster, or so I think. The hall is smaller than I remember, but large enough to house the entirety of the royal family of Pyke. Which isn’t so hard because there are only three of us at the Iron Islands at this time. 

I notice that my father eats like savage. All hands and teeth and chomping. My sister isn’t so different. Again I see the parallels between them and my head spins. The sounds of their delight nearly brings me to gagging but I hold it down and excuse myself from the table. My father doesn’t even pay attention so I take that as a confirmation of my ability to leave. 

Walking down the long corridors of Pyke I find myself wandering from room to room, touching the old books and  furniture littered about. No one ever dusted at Pyke. At Winterfell everything was kept very clean, but that was probably because of Lady Stark’s inability to let things seem dirty, she didn’t want Bran or Arya thinking they could get away without baths. Robb used to ask me for help in chasing them down for their washes…no, I don’t want to think about Robb.

Well, if there was one thing for sure, it was that Balon Greyjoy was no Catelyn Stark. And I was no Robb.

"What are you doing?"

I turn to find Asha leaning against the frame of the door wearing her dirtied leather vest and tight fitting pants. She was all power, and femininity, and danger standing there nonchalantly. I felt my throat tighten as she eyed me with mild interest. I didn’t want her to show me any interest…I wanted her to go away. She made me uneasy. 

"Sister?" it was the only word I could think of at the moment.

"Brother?" she mocked me. "I asked you what you were doing."

I watched as she slowly pushed herself from the frame and walked towards me, hips swaying in a deadly manner. Everything about her was deadly. She had been graced with an eloquence I could only ever dream of having. And I was jealous. And afraid. My inner drowned god was green with envy. 

I looked up to find her standing only inches away from me. She was my height. Always my equal. No not my equal. My better. I watched her cautiously.

"What’s the matter baby brother? You seem frustrated." Asha cocked her head slightly and lifted her chin, looking at me through her eyelashes. My breathing became uneasy as I watched a smile play at the corner of her lips. She loved doing this. Torturing me. "Are you afraid father will disown you even though you’ve come home?"

"No." my voice is jittery.

I nearly come out of my skin when I feel a cold hand touch my cheek. I’m shocked at the sudden contact. My sister is amused by my fear and confusion, and I watch helplessly, like a mouse caught in a trap, as she leans forward to my ear. Her breath is hot, unlike her hand. 

"Yes you do" she whispers, sending a not so foreign shiver down my spine "it’s ok baby brother, even if father doesn’t want you…" she trails off leaving me guessing. My mind explodes when I feel another hand on my stomach slowly moving downwards.

"Didn’t you enjoy the horse ride home, baby brother?" her fingers tangle in my hair at the uttering of the last words. It hurts and I don’t know how to react. That ride had been humiliating for me, and she knew it. I clench my jaw and set my lips in a hard line. This was not amusing. I saw stars when she jerked my head back instantly.

“I know I did. You have quite a way with your hands.” I felt something wet on my ear. She…she licked my ear??! I couldn’t function I was so confused.

“A..Asha” what was she doing? I heard her chuckle and felt another hand on the front of my pants. I jerked away immediately. 

She laughed.

“What’s the matter Theon? You can put your hands down my pants but I can’t put mine down yours? That seems unfair.” I ran a hand through my hair as she folded her arms regarding me with a smirk across her face. What was she playing at? Was she being serious? I hope she wasn’t.

“W-what are you talking about sister? You tricked me I…I didn’t know it was you and the Gods f-frown upon-”

“Shut up baby brother. I know what the Gods frown upon and I know what  you like…and I know what I want which is more than I can say for you.” She stepped forward and placed her hand on my cock once more. I stiffened. In more ways than one, eyes wide. My inner Drowned God screamed in confusion and denial. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Sis-” her mouth crushed onto mine. A plethora of emotions washed through me drowning me in a haze of heat that ran down my abdomen and into her hand. Her other hand went to my neck pushing me backwards until I was forced to sit on the first piece of furniture I hit. I felt her crawl on top of me, her thighs hugging my own. I didn’t know where to put my hands, mostly because she was my sister and this entire situation was bewildering. Yet her kiss was relentless…and I found myself relenting. My hands going to her sides and holding her there as she kissed me again and again squeezing harder on my neck forcing my head back so she could access it. 

This was unexpected but what was even more unexpected was that I genuinely…liked it. I gasped when I felt her teeth on me crushing down. Sucking in air through my teeth in a hiss I shoved her off. Asha landed gracefully on her fit wiping at her mouth. 

“Too much baby brother?” She grabbed a handful of my hair again and shoved my head back until she was arching over me. “I’m just beginning” and with that she released her hold on me and walked back towards the doorway stopping at the entrance. I waited. 

“You will submit to me, Theon. And you will like it. I’ve left you a present in your chambers, see that you read it thoroughly.” She left and I sat there, my breathing hard. What had just happened? 


Chapter 2

Later that night I found myself cautiously walking to my bed chambers. My hand found the door handle and I stood there for a moment pondering on what I might find within. My mind came up with images of my sister laying across my bed, her breast bared. No no no. I needed to stop this. 

I took a deep breath, my inner Drowned God was in warrior mode. I wouldn’t allow Asha to scare me, and with that I pushed my way inside and found the room…empty. I looked around quickly wondering what corner she could hide in to sneak up on my while I slept. But I was the only human inside the room. Thankfully. Or was I really that thankful? 

I walk over to my bed it’s a mixture of greys and blues with a headboard made of iron in the shape of a Kraken. My family always did have taste. There was a canopy to it that would aid in shielding my morning eyes from the day’s light. I thought of how the whores of Winterfell would enjoy a bed like this. I smiled. Fit for a king. 

I sat on the edge feeling the cushion of the mattress beneath me. Yes this will do nicely. I look the the stand next to me and see a folded note laying upon it. Curious, I pick it up and begin reading.

Baby brother here is a list of things I have written for you to review. I need you to understand NONE of this is up for debate as you are to submit completely to me. 

The following types of pain/punishment/discipline will now be acceptable to the Submissive.

• Spanking 

• Paddling

• Whipping 

• Caning

• Biting 

• Nipple clamps

• Genital clamps

Bondage that will now be acceptable to the Submissive.

• Hands in front 

• Hands behind back

• Ankles 

• Knees

• Elbows 

• Wrists to ankles

• Spreader bars 

  • Tied to furniture
  • Tentacles (We ARE Ironborn)

The use of sex toys that will now be acceptable to the Submissive. 

  • Anything I (Asha Greyjoy) deem as necessary

I trust you will NOT disappoint upon our next…meeting.


I stare at the letter not believing the words I am reading. What was this? Some sort of contract? I hadn’t even accepted fully what I had happened earlier today let alone plans for an ongoing…incestuous relationship. I licked my lips going back over the words again.

“Nipple clamps?” I say out loud to myself. 

“Well not my first choice but if you wish.” I jumped up quickly hiding the piece of paper behind me and find my sister standing not ten feet away from me. She was wearing her leather vest and it was unlaced down to her navel providing me with an ample view of her breasts and upper abdomen. Smooth, like a well forged sword. Her legs shown out from under the long loose tunic beneath her vest which had also been unlaced. I found myself staring. My sister was exactly the type of woman I liked. Which made this situation all the more…cage like. 

“No need to hide my own words from me. Do you like what you see?” Asha motioned to her breasts. “Father says they’re too big and will hinder my abilities as an warrior of the Iron Islands.” she placed her hands on them and squeezed “I find them just big enough to do exactly what I need to them to do, however.” 

I swallowed hard “And…what is that, sister?” She smiled and came towards me placing her hands on my shoulders and leaning forward allowing them to spill out of her shirts. I could feel my eyes widen. 

“Seduce men, baby brother.” her face was inches from mine. “Are you a man Theon?” 

I looked up into her eyes, they were like two pools I could drown in. But wasn’t that the death of Ironborn? A drowned one. What is dead may never die. 

“…my nipple” her voiced pulled me back to the present and out of her eyes. I shook my head, her hands were heavy on my shoulders pushing me backwards. 

“I-I’m sorry what?”

She climbed up on my lap and pulled my arms around her waist. “Asha what…what are you doing? We can’t do thi-” I felt a sting across my cheek. She’d slapped me. 

“I said suck on my nipple.” my brow furrowed as I looked at her breasts once more, now just a little below my eye level. 

“But..” another slap and she grabbed and yanked my head back. 

“I SAID suck my nipple, baby brother.” she grabbed her right breast and offered it up, while letting go of my hair and allowing me to situate myself better. I stared at it for a moment trying to think of some way out of this, but in the end I gave in and slowly leaned forward and pulled her nipple into my mouth. I felt her take a sharp breath and her hands once again rested onto my shoulders as she arched back giving me better access. 

“Good Theon…” I heard her say as I began to swirl my tongue around her rosy nipple and sucked at intervals. My inner drowned God cried out in approval! There was no going back now. I began to work my way to the other breast licking at the salty skin between them when she grabbed my right hand and shoved it between us and onto her heated core.  I felt how slippery she was down that and nearly died from the sensation of it. 

“Oh gods…” my voice of it’s own will escaped my lips. 

I felt her press herself down onto my hand and her hips began move slightly. “There is only one God, Theon, and I am him.” she captured my mouth on the last word emphasizing her control over me. I gladly gave in. If this was wrong? What was the point of being right, I had heard stories of incest, even the Lannister twins had their own little reputation regarding it. Gods be damned. This was what I wanted. My thoughts were broken abruptly as Asha removed herself from my lap. 

“That’s enough for today baby brother.” She stood there as calm as can be while I found it hard just to breath. I tried to protest but I could tell by the look in her eyes she would have none of it. I watched as she ran her hand down her body and beneath the tunic slowly inserting a finger into herself, she lifted the hand and put the same finger into her mouth, sucking it slightly. 

“Go to sleep Theon, you have plenty of time to dream about me, and you need plenty of rest to be prepared for what I have in store for you.” Asha turned and walked out of the room, I caught glimpses of her ass cheeks as she walked. Teasing me. When the door had closed I fell backwards onto my bed.

I slowly lifted my hand and tasted my fingers. Salt. The Iron Price. 

(Source: azorahai)

06/19/12 at 11:05PM
Filed under: #theongreyjoy    #50 shades of greyjoy    #mine[fic]    #things i wrote   
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    GUUURL, you’ve earned a new follower.
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  11. otpofotps said: O_O shall read when i get back from my regents exam
  12. notstarringmarlonbrando said: inner drowned god omg
  13. spookymullark said: THIS IS PERFECT “my inner drowned god” and the “she was all leather” and the fragmented sentences omg perfection